Competition is a part of us, apart of our world for both female and male. Now, this could be chalked up to it being a genetically wired human protocol to conserve familial safety and patriarchy, which we briefly reviewed in my previous rant. Okay, so come present-day, let’s consider how heavily populated the planet currently is, consider how often couples separate or how overly common blended families are now compared to olden times where marriage was a practically a requirement and the option of divorce was wildly shunned. Consider also how societies have shifted their concerns from safety and vitality to needing the latest Samsung or Apple product and hey! I’m not hating. Humans are constantly evolving and it’s wonderful but sometimes certain mentalities don’t seem to evolve as well. Let’s be clear; this isn’t about placing blame or forcing other females to necessarily accept responsibility for this. Let me also be clear on competition; yes, it can be healthy however it is not a necessary trait within our work / personal / whatever-have-you lives - a point proven by Alfie Kohn, researcher and author of No Contest: The Case Against Competition. In this eye-opening read, Kohn debunks the deeply seeded myth that competition is just another part of human nature and proving how competition is indeed a learned behavior - we do not come out of the womb ready to defeat others and bask in their defeat. “All of us enjoy the sense of accomplishment that comes from being particularly good at something…” Kohn carefully shines a light on the distinction from healthy competition to unhealthy competition or as he terms it “Mutually exclusive goal attainment” - the concept that my success equals your failure - here is where the problem truly lies. “The desire to be better than others feels quite different from this desire to do well.” One of my go to favorite writers, Leora Tanenbaum, author of Catfight, who also discusses Kohn’s research and writings, but more to my point Tanenbaum exposes the bigger dilemma here: “No matter how much some of us might happen to despise competition, our culture celebrates it everywhere, from the schoolyard to the sports field to the partnership track at work.” We all live in a system that favors our competition, favors raising some to the top by stomping on those below. Let’s forget ‘the system’ for now though. Right now, the reality is that this is about awareness. This is about YOU. This is also about the all other women, men, and children in the world who don’t feel like they have any power because someone told them they had none and they believed it. Sure, one shouldn’t let others determine who they are but then again…. if you can’t say anything nice, why say anything at all? Ladies - and even gentlemen, Stop comparing yourself to others and to others’ notions and ideas of beauty. It’s okay to drop the fake filters and celebrate your authentic self. Do me a favor and try out an exercise for a week or two; speak positively to others. Compliment someone’s style, appearance, or personality - no negativity, no gossiping, no comparisons. After some time, take care to consider YOU - your style, looks and/or personality. Not just friends and family, but strangers. I don’t know about you but I always have a great day when someone compliments something about me or my style. After a little time, you’ll notice that tiny voice who irks you to compare yourself to others or to obsesses over negative thoughts and past comments; that voice will have less and less meaning, leaving you empowered. As I said before, this is about YOU! On a personal note - this small aspect changed my whole weight loss experience. It wasn’t until I fully comprehended this did I see any real and permanent changes in my weight because it was no longer about the number or about others - it was about ME. This is such a simple action that can be passed along. Amazingly, positivity can be an act as a virus and it all starts with you and with me. Choose to stop comparing. Choose to speak positively. By embracing a positive world where we can celebrate others: men and women, straight or gay, green or purple, we are creating a loving, safe space for ourselves.
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Females allude few covert and subtle interactions that, as a woman myself, I can say we do not overtly discuss. In my early college years, I met a gorgeous and confident woman within my cohort that at first glance, made me stop in my tracks. Her beauty is the type that shocks you, it soaked me up and left me with a tiny, rattling voice that one might not necessarily be aware of in that moment but I begin to compare myself, critically assessing each intimate and personal flaw. “If only my legs were that long…” “Look at her gorgeous skin! I would kill for clear, smooth, flawless skin like hers!” “Why can’t I have those perfect curves?” Clearly, I am the type to compare and self-criticize but I have noticed from friends interactions or hear from others’ venting, there are those that instead of self-criticizing - they compete. Never have I been the competitive type save for a short stint as a soccer goalie when I was 9. After only winning two times it became my dream to go pro. Only, my third and final game ended with me going to the emergency room for a broken arm. It was my arm or take a speeding soccer ball to my face. I blocked that ball and we won that game (woo!) but it was my final day as a competitive person. Perhaps this is my inner social worker, but I just want everyone to get along; so excuse my surprise when this gorgeous woman, who I greet with a bright smile, averts my glance with an eye roll and curtly brushes past me. In this bleak moment, I felt so small. I felt so immediately dismissed…. But I brush it off. I tell myself not take it personally 'she’s just having a rough day or she must have heard bad news'. There was no justifying the second and third occurrence, however. I’ve met this type of woman before and they exhibit one similar feature: competition. Whether it be direct, subtle, or aggressive, this subtlety is one I am quite familiar with as a noncompetitive type. Across centuries, females have typically been considered the caretaker - in fact 95% of mammals, the female provides parental care [2]. Where as men were protectors; we all know men were prime hunters as they have larger hearts, skeletal muscles and lung capacity. Naturally, males compete against another in strength and valor, status and resources as attractive to females. Across many cultures female to female competition exists as well, but let’s talk research. Joseph Campbell stated in the The Oxford Handbook of Women and Competition “women must compete with one another to secure the best men, just as men vie for the best women." [3] This makes sense: women were care takers and men protected them until their child could grow to be a care taker or a protector, thus creating life. Women competed for the bravest, most competent men as their lives depended on it, whereas men valued women who were healthy, could reproduce and to provide care. Attributes of competition may have been introduced as a form of picking the best mate in past times but humans have much evolved since hunter/gatherer times. In this now 'modern' world, where anyone is welcome to the option of having a partner (of either gender) or not have a partner, is there really a need to compete with one another anymore? This even gained the attention of a researcher with Emmanuel College, Joyce Benenson, who performed a recent study involving female rivalries within modern America and have found three characteristics of competition between females that I'm sure will not surprise anyone:
Author Leora Tanenbaum in her book Catfight: Rivalries Among Women, exposes the disadvantages this has anomaly has caused: "Many women compete over things they think men values, such as looking sexy… The most dangerous outcome of this is self-hatred; girls and woman disparage themselves and dissociate from other females"[6]. Sneers, competitive looks, holier than thou attitudes, utter catty remarks, even exclusion but yet we are actual strangers to each other! We have evolved into our schnazzy modern society where women (and men) face many issues: beauty standards, gender roles, gender hierarchies, stereotypes, and many other ranking paradoxes such as blatant sexism and disregard within the work place. This has become our modern world: one that we as a people have continuously self-perpetuated these rivalries just to overcome these everyday obstacles. Media doesn’t make this rivalry any easier, in fact we binge watch shows like the bachelor that fuels our fiery, rivalry tendencies but masks it as entertainment. These shows have become quite the norm within our TV life, shining a new light on how female rivalry has expanded, giving us a new mindset that I, as a female, am “more than” this other female or “less than” that other female. Rosie Molinary, author of Beautiful You gave voice to this very eloquently “When we make things into a competition, we create a situation where there are always winners and losers - which means our self-worth swings like a pendulum between anxiety and judgment”. [4] Can you empathize with this statement? I know I have felt this swift movement from anxiety and judgment all too well. One of my favorite author's and Ted Talk-er, Brené Brown, queen of researching shame and its effects, discovered in her interviews and shared her findings in her book I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t) that this rivalry isn’t just between women and can extend to more than physical appearance: “In my interviews with women, I heard over and over how woman constantly feel judged by other women when it comes to appearance and motherhood. On the other hand, every man I interviewed talked about how other men are constantly sizing up each others levels of financial success, intellect and physical strengths as measures of power. Sometimes, when suffocating under our culture’s rigid gender ideals, we mistakenly believe we can escape the pressure by judging others - “Look, compared to her, I’m great.'” [1]. When the truth is simple: WE ARE WHO WE ARE. There are no ranks. There is no race. Instead of casting judgment we can choose to let go of the 'versus' mentality. Can we not choose to see goodness in others? Can we not embrace others’ differences? If we’re viewing others negatively, how can you possibly have a positive view of yourself? Strongly consider - what can be gained when we view others ..or ourselves.. in a more positive light? I am calling you and myself out: stop seeing each other as rivals!! Empathize with one another. Empower one another. Each of us has the same insecurities, why not help each other out just a tiny bit but expressing warmth and connection instead of criticism. Could you imagine the world where females hold each other up for support? Could you imagine the countries we could take over?! Okay, just playing... but seriously.
“Re-examine all you have been told in school or church or in any book, and dismiss whatever insults your soul; and your very flesh shall be a great poem, and have the richest fluency, not only in words, but in the silent lines of its lips and face and between the lashes of your eyes, and in every motion and joint in your body.” - Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass In my previous rant, based from history and well-documented research, we determined that Body Mass Index (BMI) is simply an outdated measure of how an individual’s height and weight ratio “norms” within all human beings. Although, I will give props where it is due: the BMI does have a benefit of screening within a large population as Mr. Quetelet had originally intended for this formula and as scientist Ancel Keys reiterated this key aspect in the early 1970’s (Read about HERE). However, referring to my previous argument, solely basing health by BMI measurements will, as Swainson contended “fall short in identifying those at an increased risk of associated conditions, in particular cardio metabolic diseases” [10]. So let’s discuss a few common methods of measuring our weight and body fat.
Alternatives to BMI Let’s discuss a few common methods of measuring our weight and body fat:
According to Leeds Beckett University, “Calculating a person's waist-to-height ratio is the most accurate and efficient way of identifying whether or not they are at risk of obesity in clinical practice, a new study...shows” (2017). However, Leeds Beckett University did also share the limitations to calculating a person’s WHtR “was found to be a very poor predictor of obesity according to both measures”. [8]
I should state that I have a personal bias against this form of measurement; I, personally have not had this done, but I have spoken to a handful of women who have had this procedure done in the gym, all of which were incredibly disappointed in the very shallow results. Let me not get started on how this form of measurement does not differentiate between brown or yellow fat (Waaaay too much to cover there, that’s another rant). I wanted to use a direct quote from a friend I interviewed who would like to be kept anonymous: "To have someone pinch the excess skin folds throughout your body and then to hear your fate 'You are obese'... it was humiliating".
If you’re strongly considering losing weight and absolutely need a method of measuring of body fat, all of these should be considered. It can help! To have empirical and tangible data of your own body. It can motivate! To see that number decrease over time. Trust me, I have been there and relate 100%. But do you know where else I have been? 20 lbs from my goal weight and chillin' at a plateau of 150 lbs. I wanted so desperately to be at least 149, I NEEDED to get out of the 150’s. Or stuck at a BMI of 30 a.k.a OBESE still, my waist circumference remained stagnant, even my BIA results had not changed - and I was left feeling deflated. Stick with me as I’m getting to my point here: Why are we still using these forms of measuring body fat? We utilize these many forms of measurements as determinant of health and weight and all seem to have their flaws. Not flaw(s), FLAW: all do not consider all aspects of a person, their body, their heritage and background. In these forms of measurement's defense, it's an impossible task as one form could not consider ALL aspects. Remember each human is a unique and individual snowflake. We have these measurements in place as a general guideline, as determinants of the general population, but think about it -- does the world use these as a ‘general guideline’? Humans have a silly way of holding onto habits, holding onto an idea, onto people…. Ah, comfort-ability! That’s the right word. We love where we are here, because that is what we know, that’s all we have ever known in our little bubbles, and we’ve made it this far, right? We’re okay., right? Or has the world become comfortable with these guidelines, relying on them as rules of thumb, as 100% accurate, as 100% applicable to all. Has anyone stopped to ask a few things: Why are we putting such heavy emphasis on numbers? Are we putting this focus in the wrong place? And a major question: Is there an ideal body weight? Questions we will delve into in my next post. I end my rant today with a quote from Linda Bacon, the author of Body Respect: “Our culture perpetuates the anti-fat myths that keep people depressed and at war with their own bodies… it also reinforces the message that they - not the size-stigmatizing culture - are the problem."[1] "If you put a crack in someone's 'normal' way of thinking what comes up in it's place is common sense" - Roger Mills and Jack Pransky, pg 259 Originally written December 15, 2017 I ended my last rant with a promise to delve into Body Mass Index, more popularly known as BMI. There is an extensive bit of research debunking this topic as it does not provide one with a guideline for appropriate cutoff values associated with an "ideal weight" but yet this tool is still heavily utilized within the medical and weight loss industry. If you're unfamiliar with BMI, Body Mass Index is a well known “medical” form of measuring health by dividing individuals into categories: underweight, optimal weight, overweight, obese and now morbidly obese. These are determined by a calculation based off the individual’s height and weight ratio. A quick pause for a story: years and years ago, shortly after my weight loss journey began and found that I was making visible progress, I decided to get a routine check up with my doctor. I think I may have already dropped 10 or so pounds - I was feeling great! I had a kick in my step from knowing that I was lighter, I could feel my high spirits continuously lifted from being healthier, I could not be knocked down. I’m checked in, a nurse takes my vitals, weight, blood pressure, standard questions. He asked about my weight and I beam as I tell him I recently lost 10 pounds and he beams back! He congratulates my efforts, he tells me to keep the progress going and he tells me the doctor will be with me shortly. This is always a small fib, but it’s okay because I am glowing with all this positivity. I’m like a small child, swinging my short legs off the examination table, not a care in the world. In comes my doctor, who solely makes eye contact with my chart, and asks why I came in. After explaining I just came in for a standard check up, the doctor blatantly tells me “Well, you’re morbidly obese.” Still no eye contact, let alone a physical examination. This is of course based off of the famous BMI chart he barely glanced at. He pointed where “my category” was, based off of my height (5’1’’) and what weight I needed to be at (100 lbs). This doctor monotonously explains how being at this ideal and healthy weight will normalize my blood pressure as well as many other health aspects, which is true. But then I meekly interrupt him to ask him what my current blood pressure was again. It has been years, so I don’t remember the exact number but I do know that it has never strayed far from the standard healthy 120/80, even at my heaviest. He searches for my blood pressure on his precious chart and falls silent, stunted by his own overbearing attitude. He awkwardly asks if I required anything else from him and makes his way to his next patient. My once concrete easy-breezy happiness from progression of my well-being, of my whole self, sent me into a whirlwind of anxiety, depression and helplessness. Maybe this doctor was having a bad day, maybe this is just the way he is, no matter. What deflated my happiness was in his ease of putting me into a box that I, previously to this moment, did not relate to. Leading to this moment, I knew I had weight to lose, I knew I wanted to be healthy, but I had no idea I was obese, let alone MORBIDLY OBESE. I considered all of my recent hard work that resulted in me losing weight - what was that for if I am morbidly obese?? But then I thought of all the power pump classes I had recently attended, how visibly strong I have become since the beginning of my journey and something did not seem quite kosher. How can this chart tell the difference between muscle and fat? And does it know that muscle weighs more than fat? Does it know if I am a male or female? Does it know my build - because I may be petite but my Latina butt will never be 100 lbs!! Let's calculate an example, shall we? Our example's name will be Johnson. We do not know the examples gender, build, race/ethnicity, sexuality, or their desires/goals for their body. This person weighs in at 260 lbs - based off of this number alone we can already stereo-typically assess that Johnson is heavy set, even though we are unaware of other factors previously mentioned above. We find out Johnson is 6 feet and 5 inches tall.. whoa now.. we have a hefty person on our hands!! Given these numbers, lets check what category Johnson ranks at. According to the Body Mass Index (image above) he is a whooping 31! Riiiiiiiiight over that obesity line. So our assumption was correct.... Johnson is obese. Tsk, Tsk... someone should inform Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson, our example, of this. (Shout out to Google for providing the intimate details) Posing the real question: How did this index with it's many, many flaws become the most popular form of measuring body fat within so many fields? In the 1830’s, Adolphe Quetelet, a Belgian astronomer and mathematician, invented this calculation due of his keen interest in observing human norms as determined by a bell curve. “His pioneering cross-sectional studies of human growth led him to conclude that other than the spurts of growth after birth and during puberty, ‘the weight increases as the square of the height"[7]. This was then known as the Quetelet Index. Essentially, this theory has more to do with the mathematical laws of probability than body fat, disease or mortality [11]. A thought to consider: what are the chances that Quetelet's sample population included those of diverse races? Hmm.. Come the 1940’s: Metropolitan Life Insurance Company implemented this theory as a measurement to determine how much to charge their customers for insurance, without having scientific evidence showing a correlation in weight and health. Soon after, noticing the ease of having generalized categories for their patients, the Quetelet Index was adopted by doctors, epidemiologists and the U.S. Government as a way to determine health based off of weight due to forceful lobbying of a Metropolitan Life statistician [11] named of Louis Dublin [10]. By the early 1970’s, Ancel Keys, an astute scientist who studied starvation in men and author of The Biology of Human Starvation (1950) continued practicing Quetelet Index, officially coining the term as Body Mass Index (BMI) in his article Indices of relative weight and obesity. However, Keys made a point to emphasize that BMI was only relevant for macro studies (large populations) and “completely inappropriate for use in individual diagnosis” [6]. This fell on deaf ears as physicians had a more convenient, non-invasive form of measuring patients health and nutritional standing that simply could rely on a handy dandy calculator. By 1998, BMI took a turn for the worst when the National Health, Lung, and Blood Institute lowered the BMI numbers for all weight categories, making those who were originally at optimal weight to become now overweight [11]. Not only does this measurement have no history of taking into account such control measures as gender, age, race, and cultural background, but also does not distinguish between the weight orienting from fat tissue versus muscle tissue. Therefore given this information based on historical and empirical data, the Body Mass Index is an inefficient form of determining health as its lacking major components such as diversity as well as the distinguishing factor of its inability to determine weight from muscle mass or actual body fat; society is basing a major form of health measurement and categorization off of false information. We can hypothesize that there is no reason for society to have such terms like ‘overweight’ and ‘obese’ then. Granted, yes, there is a childhood obesity epidemic in modern-day America - according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) in 2011-2014 “the prevalence of obesity remains at about 17% and affects about 12.7 million children and adolescents”[4]. But these determinants are based off of BMI, a proven false measurement of health! The concern here is the labeling of children into categories based off of a false calculation. Entitling children will undoubtedly have an affect on them, but to be labeled in such a manner at an early onset would have a massive impact on a child as they are now determined to be something that is more often viewed as a negative feature within America’s society - not being thin and we all know that thinness equals beauty, right? (See last post on rants on society’s harsh view on beauty and its impacts on men, women and children) I will end here to give you time to mull this over. Next time…. Let’s talk about the healthy alternatives to measure your health! (Yes, they indeed exist!) If you have questions, comments or concerns, I encourage and welcome you to reach out to me! “Imagine us shaping that new woman, dream of the future, out of the transformed obsessions that presently rule our lives.” - Kim Chernin, author, The Hungry Self Originally written on November 29, 2017
To complete my masters in social work, I had to perform a full presentation on how I could change an aspect of the world, i.e. a certain population, a specific occurrence, etc. using the core values and competencies that WSU taught us.... in 10 to 15 minutes. Piece o' Cake. (Note: I should say/warn you on my first post that I am a sarcastic writer, but you'll catch on) I was very proud of my research, I thought it wrong to let it sit on my hard drive for years until it magically gets lost over time. I chose to write about how our modern society demands a world where one must meet the impossible standards of beauty and flawlessness. Because of this, I believe that body positivity and self-care are much needed within everyone's lives, but especially here in America. We've grown far too comfortable with our go, go, go mantra that we have lost sight on silly little things like our character. What can't be posted to our timelines and feeds no longer has importance within our lives. We're no longer concerned with others' well being but more focused on how our lives must appear to others on their screens. Now throw youth into the mix and consider what message they can receive from our normal behavior and surroundings. On that note, let's just dive right in... What is Body Positivity? A movement that first emerged in the early 1990's that challenged society's negative view on beauty and thus invites people to live fully and intuitively in their lives without a focus on the waistline. This movement mirrors Strengths-Based theories practices of evaluating one's strengths to use as a tool for empowerment, in this case seeing your strengths as beauty. This movement also encourages connection with others to motivate empowerment. This movement shifted from attempting to "fix what's wrong" to practicing improving and maintaining self-care behaviors motivated by positive forces. I want to stress that this movement does not encourage unhealthy practices but rather encourages the practice loving yourself. Through self-care and through self-awareness we can unleash the natural creative energy we all possess! How's that now? By finding a balance between food, exercise, and rest (adequate self-care) we can find our genetically determined set point weight, our natural weight. How so? By not having our appearance be an obsession or on a pedestal we can focus on other aspects of ourselves. This new ideology of health is based on balancing self-care and self-love, inhabiting your body to life FULLY. How do I know this works? Why am I such a believer? Because I walked this path, I walk it every day. Read more about my journey here. Is This Indeed a Social Issue? Let's look at some major studies...'The Real Truth About Beauty' campaign by Dove in 2004 where 3,200 women, aged 18 to 64 were asked how they defined beauty, how satisfied they were with their beauty and how it affects their well-being. Of these women, "2% considered themselves beautiful. 68% of these women agreed that the media sets unrealistic standards of beauty that most women cannot attain" [2]. 76% of the global respondents (ages 18-29) of Dove’s Real Beauty Campaign agreed in wishing female beauty depicted in media would be defined more than physical attractiveness and 75% agreed with wishing the media included more diverse physical attractiveness such as shape, age and size. When including all ages and asking only respondents in the United States, there is an increase to 85% in wishing female beauty depicted in media would be defined more than physical attractiveness and 80% who wished physical attractiveness being represented as more diverse. According to Body Image, Second Edition: A Handbook of Science, Practice, and Prevention, girls, by age 6 begin to express worries about their weight or shape. In fact, "40-60% of elementary aged girls (ages 6-12) are concerned about their weight or about becoming too fat. This concern endures through life" [1]. The National Eating Disorder Association (NEDA), found that 40% of teenagers who were found as heavier than average experience teasing and bullying in school by peers and/or family members at home. Such teasing has direct correlation to weight gain, binge eating, and extreme weight-control behaviors. “The best-known contributor to the development of anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa is body dissatisfaction” [6]. According to The Body Project: An Intimate History of American Girls, in discussing a study performed, they found that over half of the females interviewed (ages 18-25) would “prefer to be run over by a truck than to be fat, and two-thirds would choose to be mean or stupid rather than fat” [4]. This is a real statistic, I have even attached a link for your viewing. Have we indeed created a world where females would suggest these extremes just for beauty? Females would rather attain negative features than to attain negative physical features. There is a clear need for change....why not body positivity? Call it proper self-care if you'd rather; but to answer the initial question, who cares? I hope for our future sake YOU do! Next time.... Let's get real about BMI. |